“You can love others the best only when you’re at your best.”
Thank you for continuing to read Journal for Wisdom Wednesdays!
I know, it’s not Wednesday. If you’ve been keeping up with me on Facebook, or popped in on the website the last few days, you might know that things have been a little messy. But we’re back on track now and I’m ready to get back to journaling!
Every week I will continue to post a journal prompt on Wednesday to help guide us towards our deeper wisdom. Don’t worry, I’m pretty new to all this spiritual and self help hoo-haa too, so I’ll be doing the journal exercises right along with you. Even if you don’t love to write, I urge you to give it a try. If we want something we’ve never had, we have to do something we’ve never done!
Intentional journaling is a fantastic way to discover your truest self. It’s also an amazing tool to help guide us towards a future full of possibility. It reminds us of what’s important and helps to destroy all the muck we bury ourselves under day in and day out. So give it a try to see what you can dig up!
The Assignment: Your Favorite Things!
The last three journal prompts have been pretty intense, so this week, in the spirit of love and the holidays, let’s make it lighter.
The holidays are the time of year we give, give, give and give some more. It can be exhausting. I think we often forget that it’s also a time of year to really give to ourselves. That’s right. Love is infinite. Give as much as you want to other people but the secret is not to forget about #1!
This week I want you to write a list of things you love. It can be simple things like a specific book, or things you love to do like horse-back riding, or places you love to be like the coffee shop on Tuesday afternoons, or even things you love to look at like a picture your grandfather painted. Basically, write a list of things that bring you joy. Real joy. The joy that makes you feel rejuvenated. And be specific. Here’s what part of my list might look like:
Things I Love:
- Being alone on Thursday mornings so that I can take a nap or read a book
- Holding my infant daughter on the couch when she’s calm
- Good conversation with my husband
- Taking warm bubble baths
- Drinking cold vanilla capichino
- Drinking wine and talking with my close friend on a Saturday evening
- Shopping at Michaels
- Long hugs with my kids
As parents, or women, or just general good human beings, we give and give a lot of love and support to other people every day. How often do you find yourself wishing you felt that kind of support? The crappier you feel, the more you need to put the focus on YOU. When is the last time you did any of the things on your list? Do you do any of them on a regular basis? If you haven’t, why? You can write about your feelings or just take a few minutes to think on it.
Is it possible that you feel selfish for taking time away from others to do something you love? I used to feel the same way. But I ask you to consider this: you can love others the best only when you’re at your best. When we’re feeling emotionally and physically drained it’s impossible to show up for other people.
You may think you’re doing a really great job at putting on your brave face but people can feel it, especially your children. If you truly desire to be the best parent, spouse, friend or co-worker, then you have to show up for yourself first. The people around you will be able to feel how good you feel. You’ll make there lives better just by hanging around.
Choose at least one item one your list and make it happen in the next seven days. Don’t just say you’ll try to do. That’s not showing up for yourself. You wouldn’t skip a doctor’s appointment for your child and you shouldn’t skip this either.
Make a plan. Schedule it. It should probably be something where you get to get away from your responsibilities, like having wine with a friend. If giving hugs to your children is one of your items, great, but we can work on that any time.
Make yourself a priority even if it’s only for 1 hour the entire week. If you have alone time, great! Set aside a block that of time where you can be fully devoted to enjoying this one thing. If you don’t get alone time because you have little monsters running around the house then you’ve got to ask for reinforcement. Tell your husband he’s got the kids for one evening. Ask your parents or siblings to watch the kids. Pay someone. If you’re convinced that you have absolutely zero options, then I might even suggest playing hooky for a day (And I would spend part of that day evaluating why you have no options).
Write me in the comments below and let me know how it went. What did you do? How did it make you feel? Will you continue to do something for yourself every week?
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I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!