“Stop giving a shit about the opinions of people who are afraid to grow… and no matter what happens, stay on course. Their opinions can only affect you if you let them.”
I’m so excited because this week I reached 1k Total Social Follows! Check out my sidebar to see for yourself. I know, it’s not much, but to me, it’s everything! To me, it means it’s possible to reach 100k and beyond! Which means it’s possible to spread my message to thousands of people like you who have a deep desire for something better than what you currently know to be true.
To celebrate, I wrote a post that I hope will get you jumpstarted into living your life on purpose, setting big goals, and celebrating every tiny achievement that gets you to the big one!
From my own experience, here’s what you need to STOP doing if you want to be successful:
1. Stop Letting Fear Win
Stop letting fear win. Notice I didn’t say, stop being afraid. You can’t help but to be afraid of taking risks. Taking risks means going into the unknown, and it’s only natural to feel fear. However, risk-taking is the only way to be rewarded. If you want what you’ve always had, keep doing what you’re doing. If you want something different and better, you best grow some bigger melons girl, and get to doing something different and better!
Being brave doesn’t mean you’re not scared. It means you are scared and you do it anyway.
It makes me cringe to write this, which is exactly why I’m forcing myself to do it, but I recently took pretty big financial risks to fund my business by hiring a business coach. Even though I have enough faith and wisdom to know the dream is going to happen, it hasn’t happened yet, and telling you about it now means I will have to face you later with results. But I don’t let fear call the shots anymore.
2. Stop All the Negative Self Talk
Have you heard that new song by Kesha? Hymn? Well, the best lyric is, “Here’s to knowing you’re perfect even if you’re f**ked-up!”
Yeah, you’ve got issues. I relate. And I know it’s so hard to stop believing in your own incompetency when you’ve proved to yourself over and over how easy it is to fail, or when you see others fail, or when there is so much to be afraid of. But you’ve got to start believing in yourself. Love yourself in your thoughts, your words, and your actions. It’s the secret to life! Seriously…I wrote about it. I also made a Pinterest board about it!
The last few months I’ve made a conscious effort to reflect on and correct my negative thoughts or words. If I look in the mirror and think, man I’m a fatass…I catch myself and immediately and correct it to, No, I am beautiful. If I say out loud, I’m so stupid! I catch myself and correct it to, No I’m really smart!
No, you won’t immediately believe it, but if you commit to doing this over and over you will eventually condition your brain to stop being such a wimp. You are smart, you are beautiful, you are powerful, and you can have what you desire. But you’ve got to do the work if you don’t already believe it!
What you say, do, and think will be the truth of your circumstances. It always is.
3. Stop Apologizing
Don’t apologize or feel guilty for having a better lifestyle than the one you grew up in, or having a more positive attitude, or for making a difference, or for being successful, or having a bigger house, or getting an education, or just having a better life in general.
This is something I have struggled with. I grew up poor and now I’m middle class. A lot of my family still lives a poor lifestyle and even though I’ve never, ever bragged about my situation (because there’s absolutely nothing to brag about, I got problems and bills too) I get treated differently and sometimes put down verbally. People suddenly think of you as a different person when you’re able to finish college, pay your bills, and afford a house in a suburb. Oh, suddenly you’re too good for us, huh?
Don’t let others make you feel bad about your positive choices. But don’t waste time being angry with them either. It’s nothing personal. They just feel like you can’t relate to them anymore. They don’t believe you have to struggle as hard as they do, and they are responding in fear because suddenly they are forced to face the realization that maybe they can do it too.
4. Stop Listening to Negative Nancy
“Who do you think you are? You’ll never get that far. That costs too much money. You don’t have enough time. Don’t dream soooo big. You’re too old. You’re too young. Why would you give up your secure job? You are being selfish. You’re crazy”
Chances are you’ve heard these sentences from the mouths of others. Because any time you get the guts to pursue a goal, you are met with all the resistance in the world. It’s not a sign that you should stop. Its just people who are really uncomfortable with people like you, who want to grow.
The moment you decide to go after your truth, shit will hit the fan. People will watch to see if you fall apart, and if you do… they are eager to say, I told you so.
You’re going to make mistakes. It will happen. Expect it. But failure only happens when you quit. Stop giving a shit about the opinions of people who are afraid to grow… and no matter what happens, stay on course. Their opinions can only affect you if you let them.
Would you take it to heart if a Kindergartner said you were dumb? Hopefully, you would just laugh it off and say something kind in return because you know what they said isn’t true, and you want to set a better example. That’s how you have to approach these people. Smile and nod if you have to, but don’t let their words instill fear or take away your powerful beliefs.
5. Stop Waiting
You will never be confident enough, thin enough, bold enough, rich enough, prepared enough, or perfect enough if you keep waiting. Give up your perfectionism. Stop waiting around for just the right moment to spring on you.
Dive head-first into the dark water and be ready to fight whatever ugly, giant fish swims your way. Usually, the fish turns out to not be as ugly or as giant as you imagined in the first place.
How many people have to die before you accept that you’re going to die too? Don’t waste more time waiting for something that might never come. Most waiting is just an excuse not to start.
I am still unsatisfied with my website, my inconsistent social media posting strategy, my current weight, my lack of finances, and a lot of other things. But I just keep on keeping on because it will never be perfect and I know I can learn as I go.
6. Stop Putting Yourself Last
This one should really be first on the list but I put it last because I want it to resonate with you the most.
Yeah, you’ve got a partner, kids, or other family and friends who all have needs that maybe you are responsible for meeting.
First, let’s make sure you actually are responsible for those needs. Yes, your kids need to feel loved, your partner needs communication, and maybe your family or friends need a certain level of support with certain things. But no, you are not responsible for anyone’s happiness, their satisfaction of life, entertainment, or feeling of self-worth (there are obviously some exceptions with children).
Remember that everyone in the house should share responsibility. Do you really need to fold everyone’s laundry or make everyone’s bed or wash everyone’s dishes?
And, always make time for yourself. Take a bath, read a book, go out with friends, cook meals you like, order food you want to try instead of always giving in to what your partner or kids want, make time for yoga- or whatever it is that floats your happy boat. And don’t just fit it in when you can, schedule it in. Make it a priority. Personally, my husband and I have worked out a schedule where every evening (that something is not planned) he get’s 1.5 hours and then I get 1.5 hours to do whatever the hell we want. We make an exception 1 night of the week to spend time with the kids together, and we still have lots of time on the weekends.
When it comes to friends and family, you’ve got to stop enabling them. If they are too negative, sucking up all your good energy and using your amazing listening skills to dump their crap all over you, you’ve got to put an end to that crap immediately. It does affect you and it’s killing your mojo. Be brave enough to explain you’re in a positive space now, or begin to distance yourself from them. Mamma ain’t got time for that!
If you learn nothing else, please understand that putting yourself first IS NOT SELFISH. It’s the best thing you can do for your family because it’s making you feel good and helping you be at your best. When you are at your best… you can be the best when you’re with them.
You can take my advice with a grain of salt. I consider myself a successful person. But where I came from, a world full of poverty, addiction, and abuse, my mindset about life is a monumental achievement.
I am beautiful inside and out. I deserve to be loved by myself and others. My time is extremely valuable. Money is a tool that I want and deserve. I am successful. I can do anything I set out to do.
And guess what? All of this is true for you too! It already exists for you. And as soon as you believe it, the Universe will help you see it.
I’d love to hear about how you had to change your mindset for success! Comment below to interact with me! Don’t forget to share with your friends!